Memories of a Different Life
by StOnE CoLd SaRaH
Summary: Ummm. I'm not sure what to say, 'tis a Lita/Raven ficcy. Lot's of Bon Jovi/New Jersey reference's.... Just read please!! And I'll luv ya forever!


Title: Memories of a Different Life   
  
A/N: Wow. I'm very proud of this fic. Ummmm. Let's see, disclaimer time. Ummm. I own none of these characters, Raven, Lita, Jeff, Molly, Shane, Edge, and etc. Vince does (Hey.... I wonder who I could say owns Shannon Moore? Cuz I'm pretty sure Vince doesn't own him... But, since Vince does own about everyone else, might as well include him so I'm not sued) I finally wrote something that wasn't Molly/Raven.... It's Lita/Raven. LOL. Obsess much? Anyway, all of the songs I used (without permission, for those of you who are counting) are all owned by Bon Jovi *bows* Dudes please don't sue.... I really have nothing you don't already own... *shows Bon Jovi her cd collection - which is the only worthwhile thing she owns-* That's all. Peace!  
  
* - Wanted Dead Or Alive Slippery When Wet (August 1986)  
** - Always Cross Road (October 4, 1994)  
*** - Bed Of Roses Keep The Faith (November 1992)  
  
Disclamer: I don't own Bon Jovi. I don't own any wrestler. Wow. My life sucks, huh?  
  
~ equals thinking. (For the slow kids out there....)  
  
  
  
Raven sat in the lonely bar after the show nursing a beer. He had really lost any taste for the mythical brew after his last binge almost killed him. But, every now and then he would have one.   
~ Not like back in the day when Tommy and I could drink an entire bingo hall worth of kegs. ~ He thought smiling to himself and then he sighed, ~ God. This music sucks. ~ Raven prided himself on his eclectic choices in music, ~ But, this kinda shit gives me a headache. It shouldn't even be referred to as music. If the band doesn't start soon, I'm going to blow this popsicles stand. ~  
  
  
Raven took this time to look around the small, yet crowded club. Half the roster was there. ~ Whoop-di-do. ~ he thought, rather sarcastically, to himself. He scanned the room and saw Lance Storm and Christian trying to pick up chicks at one table. Well, Christian was, and Lance was just sitting there looking as down in the dumps as Raven felt.  
  
~ Hell, I'd feel lousily too if I had Christian the Canadian Crybaby as my partner... ~ Raven thought to himself.   
  
At a table in the middle of the bar, Bradshaw, Faarooq, and Jackie were having a drinking contest. ~ Not much else you can do when your career is going no where. ~ Raven thought to himself. ~ At least Jackie has the ref deal now. And looking cute doing it. But, I wouldn't tell her that, because she could and would kick my ass. ~  
  
  
At another table the Hardyz were sitting with their girlfriends, Edge with his wife, and lonely Lita was by herself. ~ Cuz as far as I know, she hasn't been with anyone since Matt dumped her and that was 4 months ago. Poor girl. She's way to beautiful and lovely to have to deal with something like that. ~ Raven mused and sighed deeply, staring at Lita from across the room.   
  
  
Lita looked up from where she was listening to Edge and Jeff try to out burp each other. She rolled her eyes and muttered stupid males. She felt someone watching her and she causally scanned the small club. And then she locked eyes with the man known as Raven. She had always had a small crush on him and she considered his ECW matches some of the best she ever saw. She smiled warmly at him and his eyes grew large in surprise that she had noticed him inspecting her. But, he smiled back.   
  
~ Woah! Score one for Raven! And the crowd goes wild!! ::crowd noises::: ~ Raven thought to himself and then muttered, "I really need to get out more..." he continued silently in his head ~ Sigh. Wow. She smiled at me! I feel like the provable teenager.... Oh! Thank God! The band finally set up and their ready to play. This will stop me from looking at her like a lost puppy dog .~  
  
  
  
"How is everybody doing tonight!!!" The lead singer yelled. He continued even though hardly anyone answered him. "I'm Joe Blond Johnny!! And we're everyone's favorite Bon Jovi cover band, The Crossroads!"   
  
  
Even though Raven's attention was firmly on the band, he could feel Lita stealing glances at him every couple of minutes.   
  
  
*   
It's all the same, only the names have changed,   
Every day it seems we're wasting away,   
Another place, where the faces I saw cold,   
I'd drive all night, Just to get back home.  
  
Raven sighed deeply. He was a huge Bon Jovi fan. He was born in New Jersey, after all. There was something wrong with you if you didn't like Bon Jovi and that sin seemed to be double if you were from the bands hometown. Even though Raven had always tried to be as anti-conformity as he could possibly be, he found a kindred spirit in the music of Bon Jovi. And just because millions of other people also found that same spirit in the music... It still didn't stop him. So many of the songs were there when he needed them. From the hard rock headbanger anthems to the mushy love songs that left you with a tear in your eye. All of those had an effect on the tough and violent Raven. ~ I still tear up every time I hear 'Bed Of Roses'.....~   
  
  
And this is from a man who once fought in a burning table match - and lost.... ~ Life on the road gets so tedious and monotone. Most nights I have no idea what city I'm in. Before the Alliance spilt, I had people cheering and liking for me. All that weird stuff. It freaked me out. Now I'm back to being a heel and people are back to being cold to me. Back to normalcy. I don't like people cheering for me, because I don't deserve it. I've never done anything for them. So why should they cheer me? I don't need their love and admiration.   
  
Speaking of admiration.... Lita is looking at me again. I can feel her hazel eyes on me. ~ Raven stopped his train of thought to turn and smile at Lita again.   
  
  
Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days,   
And people I meet always go their separate ways.   
  
  
~ Ya know that Matt guy must be kind of stupid ~ Raven thought to himself. ~ Look at how Lita's entire face lights up when she smiles! And look at the girl he going out with now... Akasha or something... She's too blond and ditzy to be with him. They don't look right. Then again, I didn't think him and Lita looked good together either. But, that might have been the little crush I had on her since her Miss. Congenitally days. She's someone I honestly can say that I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. I've met few women whom I can sincerely say that about. Then again, I thought Molly was like that too ~ He sighs again and feels tears well up in his eyes over his lost love, Molly Holly.   
  
  
Sometimes you tell the day, by the bottle that you drink.   
And sometimes when you're alone, all you do is think.  
  
  
~ Yep that's for sure. When you have no one, the downside is you think *way* to much for your own good. I haven't wanted to go out on a drinking binge because the last time I did -and almost died. Damn pesky little reminders- was because of Molly. Excuse me, 'Mighty Molly' Superhero to all. Boy, getting pissed drunk and then waking up to machines hooked in your arms and having your best friend, the Man Beast, breathing on you is not a good way to wake up. Especially since I did have a pretty bad hangover, to boot. But that's in the past. She's in the past. Right? ~  
  
  
I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride,   
I'm wanted, dead or alive,   
Wanted, dead or alive.  
I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride,   
I'm wanted, dead or alive,   
Wanted, dead or alive.  
I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back,   
I play for keeps, 'cause I might not make it back.   
I been everywhere, still I'm standing tall,   
I've seen a million faces, and I've rocked them all.  
  
  
~ Ya know. This guy really does sound like Jon. This is me not wanting to attempt to answer my own rhetorical question. I don't want to think about it. But then again, I also don't want to think about how I've been reduced to lower levels of wrestling, until 'further notice.' So I get to choose from one of my two evils. I think I'll go with the one that doesn't make me openly cry. Since I've been reduced, every time I'm out there, I fight like it's my last match. Cuz who knows when my time is up? I sure don't. If I did it would save me a hell of a lot of heartburn and sleepless nights. I like to think that over the years, all the people I've seen and met, that somehow I've touched them. Sure there were a couple of ring rats that I *really* got to touch.... But, besides that being me blowing my own hot aired horn, it was also back when I was younger and reckless, and did I mention stupider? Cuz stupider is differently the main one. Nowadays, I just want some kid to go home with the memory that 'Dude! That   
hobo dude Raven he really kicked ass tonight! He was on fire! He was awesome! He didn't win the match, but he put on one helluva show!' That's all I want. My own form of respect. ~  
  
  
I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride,   
I'm wanted, dead or alive,   
I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side,   
I'm wanted, dead or alive,   
Wanted, dead or alive.   
*  
  
  
Raven continued his quiet conversation with himself as Lita kept on stealing glances over his way. Finally Edge, the most observant of the group, cleared his throat and said, "Lia.... Just walk over there. What harm could you do? It's not like you get him to feel anymore depressed then he already is!" Lita turned to glare at him and she stuck her tongue out at him. Jeff laughed and asked Edge, "Are you going to let her do that?"   
  
"Hell yeah man! She can kick my ass! I ain't goin' mess with her!" As the table burst into laughter at Edge's mimicking of Lita's Southern accent, he leaned over and whispered into her ear, "Just do it. See if he shares your crush. You might be surprised...." She nodded and waited until the band took a 10-minute break.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, back at the table of depression and gloom. Otherwise know as Ravens table... He took a sip of his beer as the band took it's break and was about to get up to leave, when he realized that Lita was walking over his way. She came over and cheerfully said, "Great band, huh?"  
  
Raven shrugged, "Nothing beats the real thing live."  
  
Lita took that as a cue that she could sit down. "Oh! You're a fan too?! I love them! New Jersey was my first album!"   
  
He nodded. "I've seen them 8 times all ready. My cousin is trying to get me tickets for the next time their going to be playing at the Meadowlands. Luckily, that also happens to be one of the nights we'll be in the area."  
  
"Wow! You saw them 8 times! I only saw them twice! Back in the 80s and then a couple of months ago with my friend Jennifer!"  
  
There was a lull in the conversation. Then Lita asked inquisitively, "Hey. Aren't you from New Jersey, too?"  
  
"Yep. The state itself isn't that bad. But, my memories of growing up their aren't..." ~ Oh great. Bring up your crappy childhood. Smooth move Raven... Real smooth... There goes any shot of her liking you... ~ he mentally berated himself.   
  
  
Lita just shrugged, "I understand. Like when I go back home, for like breaks and stuff, it's like paradise. But, when I was growing up, I couldn't wait to get out of my house and see the world. Now that I've seen the world and visited almost everywhere, the place that I love the most is home."   
  
Raven just nodded. ~ Wow. Someone who understands. This should go down in the record books. I can see it now, "Someone Understands Raven In The First Time In Recorded History!" ~   
  
  
Lita continued talking, "Ya know. You're the only guy whose ever understood my theory. Jeffie and Matt, they don't understand. They don't hate North Carolina, but they'd just rather be out of the state then in it. And Shannon had a rough life and he could never understand going back to his hometown, let alone to his parents house. And Shane is to busy flying around the world -no pun intended- to really care about being home."  
  
Raven winced at the mention of Shane Helms. ~ The man who took Molly. Well, Spike did first, but I could kick Spike's ass if I really wanted too. ~  
  
Lita had unfortunately noticed that look and raised her eyebrows, "What? You don't like Shane? Which is all right, because some days I'm not to fond of him myself...."   
  
Raven shook his head, "Naw. He's an all right kid. He.... Well, let's just say he is now..... in possession... of someone I hold rather dear." He tried to smile, but it came out more of a grimace.   
  
Lita's eyes grew in surprise as she realized that he was talking about her best female friend Molly. Raven let out a heartily laugh, "I'm sorry. But, I just love your facial expressions! Did anyone ever tell you how cute you... your face is?" Raven strutted out and grin sheepishly.   
  
  
~ Wow! He's even cuter when he smiles!! ~ Lita thought to herself as she felt her pulse quicken. "Not really. No one's ever said that to me..."  
  
Raven smiled again and said, "Well, they must be blind then!" She smiled at him and he reached out and took her hand in his.   
  
  
  
The band's break was over and the opening piano keys to 'Always' was being played. "Do you want to dance, Lita?" he asked hopefully, even though in his heart he feared the worst.   
  
Lita on the other-hand had experience chills that went up and down her spine when he had said her name. She just numbly nodded. He got out of his chair, still holding onto her hand and lead her to dance floor.   
  
  
The entire table that Lita had been sitting at before walking to Ravens, burst into applause. Lita blushed and turned towards her traitorous table and gave them the finger.   
  
Raven laughed and murmured "Careful. They might take you up on that." Lita turned and smiled at him. She leaned closer and put her head on his broad chest. He wrapped his arms around her small hips and they swayed to the music.   
  
  
  
Even though they were both completely comfortable in the silence, Raven was the first to speak. "If I was a girl, woman, or like Billy and Chuck.... I would totally dig Jon Bon Jovi."   
  
Lita giggled, "Of course you would! He's got everything! He's got a nice behind, he wears leather, and he has a tendency to pout an awful lot.... Wait a minute. You know, he sounds a lot like you!"  
  
Raven laughed, "You mean to tell me, that you've checked out my ass before?!" He said incredibly as he kiss the top of her head and inhaling her apple smelling shampoo. He rested his check on her soft, red, flaming hair.   
  
"Well, it's kinda hard not to check you out when you run around in a dress for God sakes!"   
  
"It's not a dress! It's a kilt!"   
  
She looked up and said, "And see! Your pouting now!"  
  
He rolled his eyes, "That's different!"  
  
"Yeah your right. You look much cuter pouting then Jon does...."  
  
Raven looked at her in shock, "Really?"  
  
She nodded.   
  
~ Well, this is it, buddy. Now or never! ~ he thought to himself as he leaned down to kiss her. And then any comprendable thoughts left him as she kissed him back. The entire world seemed to stop and it was as if it was only to two of them.   
  
**  
This Romeo is bleeding   
But you can't see his blood   
It's nothing but some feelings   
That this old dog kicked up   
It's been raining since you left me   
Now I'm drowning in the flood   
You see I've always been a fighter   
But without you I give up   
Now I can't sing a love song   
Like the way it's meant to be   
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore   
But baby, that's just me   
And I will love you, baby -   
Always   
And I'll be there forever and a day -   
Always   
I'll be there till the stars don't shine   
Till the heavens burst and   
The words don't rhyme   
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind   
And I'll love you -   
Always   
Now your pictures that you left behind   
Are just memories of a different life   
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry   
One that made you have to say goodbye   
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair   
To touch your lips, to hold you near   
When you say your prayers try to understand   
I've made mistakes,   
I'm just a man   
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near   
When he says the words you've been needing to hear   
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine   
To say to you till the end of time   
Yeah, I will love you baby -   
Always   
And I'll be there forever and a day -   
Always   
If you told me to cry for you -  
I could   
If you told me to die for you -   
I would   
Take a look at my face   
There's no price I won't pay   
To say these words to you   
Well, there ain't no luck   
In these loaded dice   
But baby if you give me just one more try   
We can pack up our old dreams   
And our old lives   
We'll find a place where the sun still shines   
And I will love you, baby -   
Always   
And I'll be there forever and a day -   
Always   
I'll be there till the stars don't shine   
Till the heavens burst and   
The words don't rhyme   
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind   
And I'll love you -   
Always   
**  
  
  
Lita was the first to break away from the kiss. She was blushing profusely and coughed, "Well... That was unexpected..."   
  
Raven felt his heart sink, "But, good right?" He had to ask. He didn't want his heart to be dragged around like it had been with Molly.   
  
"Of course! I mean I've had a crush on you since forever!" She babbled on, still blushing even redder.   
  
"Me too."  
  
  
She looked at him and seemed to be studying him to see if he was serious.   
  
Raven, seemingly reading her mind, declared "I'm as serious as a heart attack. Or Lance Storm, whichever comes first." Her faced broke into a smile.  
  
"Hey Raven?"  
  
"Hmmm?" He murmured, taking in her subtle beauty.   
  
"I think the song changed...."   
  
He stopped looking at her long enough to realize that she was right. The song changed from the soft and slow, 'Always' to the loud and rowdy 'One Wild Night.' Which meant that everyone else on the dance floor had separated and were now head-banging.   
  
Raven shrugged, but he didn't let go from where his arms were wrapped Lita, "So?"  
  
She just shook her head, "You're crazy, ya know."  
  
"Conformity sucks, anyway."   
  
She grinned again was about to counteract his statement, when Raven leaned in and kissed her again. The time she didn't ague and she felt more at peace then she had in a long time.  
  
  
  
The band had been watching the couple for the past three songs that they had been intertwined. The lead singer, whose real name was Tony Annuli, whispered among his band mates and the next song that they played was 'Bed Of Roses' for the young couple.   
  
  
  
***   
Sitting here wasted and wounded at this old piano   
Trying hard to capture the moment this morning I don't know   
'Cause a bottle of vodka still lodged in my head   
And some blond gave me nightmares   
I think she's still in my bed   
As I dream about movies   
They won't make of me when I'm dead   
  
With an ironclad fist I wake up and French kiss the morning   
While some marching band keeps its own beat in my head   
While we're talking   
About all of the things that I long to believe   
About love and the truth and what you mean to me   
And the truth is baby you're all that I need   
  
I want to lay you in a bed of roses   
For tonight I sleep on a bed on nails   
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is   
And lay you down on bed of roses   
  
Well I'm so far away   
That each step that I take is on my way home   
A king's ransom in dimes I'd give each night   
Just to see through this pay phone   
Still I run out of time or it's hard to get through   
Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you   
I'll just close my eyes and whisper,   
Baby blind love is true   
  
I want to lay you in a bed of roses   
For tonight I sleep on a bed on nails   
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is   
And lay you down on bed of roses   
  
This hotel bar hangover whiskey's gone dry   
The barkeeper's wig's crooked   
And she's giving me the eye   
I might have said yeah   
But I laughed so hard I think I died   
  
When you close your eyes   
Know I'll be thinking about you   
While my mistress she calls me   
To stand in her spotlight again   
Tonight I won't be alone   
But you know that don't mean I'm not lonely   
I've got nothing to prove   
For it's you that I'd die to defend   
  
I want to lay you in a bed of roses   
For tonight I sleep on a bed on nails   
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is   
And lay you down on bed of roses   
  
***  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Raven muse: :::sniffles::: Sorry... That song gets me emotional. I just want you all to know that I'm still not talking to Stone Cold Sarah....  
  
SCS: Why not? It's been over a month now! And I wrote you a Lita/Raven fic. AND I used your favorite band! What else do you want from me?!?!?  
  
Raven muse: I want you to delete those two fics. The one with me and Jeff and the one with me and RVD!!!  
  
SCS: No! People liked the 'Insanity' fic and I like the RVD one!!  
  
Raven :::pouts::: Fine...   
:::directs his attention to the viewing audience::: Don't review this fic!! Fight her!! Don't review and she'll stop writing slashy and/or just plain WEIRD fics, with me in them!!! What about me, What about Raven!?!?  
  
SCS :::Hits him over the head with a frying pan::: What about you? :::points to the muse on the ground::: Don't listen to him!! Review!! Love me!!!  
  
  
::::This has been an insanity over-load by your friendly neighborhood crack dealer.... er..... author.... StOnE CoLd SaRaH :::::: 


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